I am a wizard dontcha know?

Tequila and Salt

Yes I found this in a forwarded email.

So what?

It makes a lot of sense.

And I agree that this should be taped to everyone's bathroom mirror.

1. There are at least two people in this world that would die for you
2. ... At least 15 people in this world love you in some way
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you
5. Every night someone thinks about you before they go to sleep
6. You mean the world to someone
7. You are special and unique
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it
10. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received, forget about the rude remarks.
12. Don't forget to be good to people, but remember that you always come first.

Thanks to all that care, and know that I am always here.

Don't let me get me.

But please.
PLEASE let me understand me.

on another note.

I was too high

and too drunk on saturday.

I wanted to show Holly that I'm not so bad.

but I feel like I was more socially awkward than usual.

and may have simply annoyed the fuck out of her.

ehn.

I try too hard sometimes.

Being intoxicated is supposed to help me not try so hard.

It's supposed to help me not think so much.

But I just start to think and worry even more.

I still had a great time though. :)
it was awesome seeing all of them again.

and I had never been drunken bowling before.

I've never been bowling on MDMA before either.

I sucked ass, up until the last play.

3 strikes in a row bitchasssss.

(kill the lights)

These children learn from cigarette burns,
fast cars,
fast women, and cheap drinks
(it feels right)
All these asphyxiated,
self-medicated,

take the white pill, you'll feel alright.

Y'know

every time i try to go

where i really want to be

is already where i am

cuz i'm already dead.

Everyone should still dress like it's the 70's.
Or just wear anything that's in 'A Clockwork Orange'

dear viewers.

to the few that are out there.

i feel that you should know

that the time displayed on this blog.

is about 3 hours

and 1 second behind.

the time on my computer.

i am publishing this now

at 1:48

as i am going to bed.

goodnight.

I don't care what you say anymore.

This is my life.

Go ahead with your own life.
And leave me alone.

You Should've Never Gone to Hollywood

I was standing on the wall.
Feeling ten feet tall.

All you maggots smoking fags on Santa Monica Boulevard.

This is my front page.
This is my new rage.
All you bitches put your hands in the air
and wave them like you just don't care.

you suck fuckin' tits!

dear blog.
there is something i haven't told you about, and maybe i should have used this as my way of keeping track of which days i've felt uncomfortable or confused...
either way, my manager cant seem to get it through his thick skull that i am simply a friendly person.
a few weeks back he sent me a poem

"somewhere there is someone dreams of your smile

finds in your presence life is worthwhile

when you are lonely

remember it's true

somebody somewhere

is thinking of you :)"

now i've always been more friendly and a bit nervous around any manager i've ever had.

so i don't know if he misunderstood my being friendly, or what.

either way.

i thought i had dealt with that quite well.

we even talked in person about it a bit.

i explained to him that i think he is a great manager and a great friend.

i then managed to get him to explain that he is married

he has a little girl

and yet he is here in canada

flirting with and dating other women.

he has four different facebook accounts, so he can keep his women separate from each other.
and admitted to me that he was dating two girls and they found out and OBVIOUSLY werent happy with him.

and yet.
even after we've talked about all this.

he /still/
makes the odd comment.

that makes me believe that he is convinced he can make me think differently.
make me, interested in him.


veer- "goodnight jen sweet dreams"
moi- "goodnight veer, and dream sweet :p"
veer- "miss you jen."

.........

veer- "dont take it wrong just kidding ok :)"



terrible english he have.
yesss.

i think i'm just gonna start talking to him like the person that he is.

a playah.
and i'm slightly mean to playahs.

but mostly i just think i'm funny.

Pink Floyd - The Wall 1 & 2

have i mentioned.

how much i love this album?

cuz i do.

Magnum P.I. couldn't solve this shit!

dear parents.

i know it's part of the job description to harp at me for things.

telling me to do something with my life.

when am i going to college?

when am i even going to look into the courses i want to take?

i dunno.

soon.

all i know.

is that there is just so much out there...

that it makes it hard to know where to begin.

but i will.

soon.

p.s.
i need to find a shirt to go underneath this one!
so i can wear it all the time.

'is too awesome.