I saw Amanda Cartwright the other day.
Made me think about all the people that I've pushed myself away from.
Some of them I'm sure there were reasons for.
But others... it kind of makes me sad.

She was always a good friend
I tell myself lately that she got more judgmental as the years went on
but maybe she just didn't want to be the only one trying..
I was stoned all the time and easily forgot about people.
Especially if I couldn't smoke up with them, or around them.
So now I wonder
was she the judgmental one?

I've noticed a few people who've deleted me off facebook that I had tried to stay friends with, obviously not succeeding in that act.
I don't know what to say to them, or if I should even bother, so I just let it pass.
I guess I've just always figured that if you're a true friend, you don't have to communicate everyday, every week, or every month.
Just as long as you are there to talk, to hang out whenever your friend needs you, at least TRY to be there, or even just hang out to catch up once in a while.
That's all that matters.

But I guess we all slack on that front too...

Tristan is a different story.
I know he got a new phone number and didn't text me the new number.
I know he's angry with me because I said some hurtful things.
And I wish I had the complete answer as to why I said those things.
I just thought he would always be there.
Like he said he would..
Like we said we would.
Friends don't ignore each other.
They reply when they can
or simply say they're busy.

I think what hurt the most was when I was in kingston and sent him a message about it
and I didn't get a response from him.
Not a single word.

Tonight is a rant night.
And I think I'm done.
I should be sleeping anyways...