If Only I Could Hunt the Hunter

I don't mean to pick you apart you see.

but I can't

help it.

Never allow someone to be your priority
while they only make you an option.

Envy is Ignorance.

Time may change me.

But I can't change time.

Stan - "Dude, is Kyle's dad.. a dolphin?"

Cartman - "He's a Jewish dolphin... a Jewphin."

and end the night.

with Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina.

hah.

Pass that blunt Nukka.

What a wonderful day with South Park I've had. :)

The last one makes me think of my wife for some odd reason... hahaha

hah.

sometimes i don't think before i speak.

that's a pretty normal thing though right?

but usually.

it's always at the worst times.

like right now.

i'm high.

i'm watching south park.

and i have no idea what i'm going to say.

also am having a lot of troubles typing..

anyway.
what i want to say

is that i need to remember that true friends.

never talk bad about their friends.

no matter how high

or angry they may be.

it is only temporary.

no need to make any rash decisions.

or say anything that i know i'll regret later.

because that's not what friends do.

friends are there for you
/no matter what/

and if there's anything that i am confident in.

is that i try every day.

to be the best friend that i can be.

to all of my friends.

but its difficult to be there for all of them.

all the time.

i get exhausted.

and draw myself back from everyone for a while.

tonight was the first time i've checked my facebook notifications in over a week.

but i still seem to be very undecided about facebook...

so that's no shocker.

i will avoid opening some conversations on my phone until i feel again like i can HAVE a conversation with someone.

i go to work and don't bother asking people more than "how are you".

i feel like a zombie.

the days are all the same...

well,
that's going to change a bit.

i should easily get this supervisor position.

more responsibilities to keep me distracted.

and more money.

as for my friends.

you know i love you.

and i'll always be here for you. :)

i shouldn't write blog posts when i'm high.

stick ta pictures.

I am a wizard dontcha know?

Tequila and Salt

Yes I found this in a forwarded email.

So what?

It makes a lot of sense.

And I agree that this should be taped to everyone's bathroom mirror.

1. There are at least two people in this world that would die for you
2. ... At least 15 people in this world love you in some way
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you
5. Every night someone thinks about you before they go to sleep
6. You mean the world to someone
7. You are special and unique
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it
10. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received, forget about the rude remarks.
12. Don't forget to be good to people, but remember that you always come first.

Thanks to all that care, and know that I am always here.

Don't let me get me.

But please.
PLEASE let me understand me.

on another note.

I was too high

and too drunk on saturday.

I wanted to show Holly that I'm not so bad.

but I feel like I was more socially awkward than usual.

and may have simply annoyed the fuck out of her.

ehn.

I try too hard sometimes.

Being intoxicated is supposed to help me not try so hard.

It's supposed to help me not think so much.

But I just start to think and worry even more.

I still had a great time though. :)
it was awesome seeing all of them again.

and I had never been drunken bowling before.

I've never been bowling on MDMA before either.

I sucked ass, up until the last play.

3 strikes in a row bitchasssss.

(kill the lights)

These children learn from cigarette burns,
fast cars,
fast women, and cheap drinks
(it feels right)
All these asphyxiated,
self-medicated,

take the white pill, you'll feel alright.

Y'know

every time i try to go

where i really want to be

is already where i am

cuz i'm already dead.

Everyone should still dress like it's the 70's.
Or just wear anything that's in 'A Clockwork Orange'

dear viewers.

to the few that are out there.

i feel that you should know

that the time displayed on this blog.

is about 3 hours

and 1 second behind.

the time on my computer.

i am publishing this now

at 1:48

as i am going to bed.

goodnight.

I don't care what you say anymore.

This is my life.

Go ahead with your own life.
And leave me alone.

You Should've Never Gone to Hollywood

I was standing on the wall.
Feeling ten feet tall.

All you maggots smoking fags on Santa Monica Boulevard.

This is my front page.
This is my new rage.
All you bitches put your hands in the air
and wave them like you just don't care.

you suck fuckin' tits!

dear blog.
there is something i haven't told you about, and maybe i should have used this as my way of keeping track of which days i've felt uncomfortable or confused...
either way, my manager cant seem to get it through his thick skull that i am simply a friendly person.
a few weeks back he sent me a poem

"somewhere there is someone dreams of your smile

finds in your presence life is worthwhile

when you are lonely

remember it's true

somebody somewhere

is thinking of you :)"

now i've always been more friendly and a bit nervous around any manager i've ever had.

so i don't know if he misunderstood my being friendly, or what.

either way.

i thought i had dealt with that quite well.

we even talked in person about it a bit.

i explained to him that i think he is a great manager and a great friend.

i then managed to get him to explain that he is married

he has a little girl

and yet he is here in canada

flirting with and dating other women.

he has four different facebook accounts, so he can keep his women separate from each other.
and admitted to me that he was dating two girls and they found out and OBVIOUSLY werent happy with him.

and yet.
even after we've talked about all this.

he /still/
makes the odd comment.

that makes me believe that he is convinced he can make me think differently.
make me, interested in him.


veer- "goodnight jen sweet dreams"
moi- "goodnight veer, and dream sweet :p"
veer- "miss you jen."

.........

veer- "dont take it wrong just kidding ok :)"



terrible english he have.
yesss.

i think i'm just gonna start talking to him like the person that he is.

a playah.
and i'm slightly mean to playahs.

but mostly i just think i'm funny.

Pink Floyd - The Wall 1 & 2

have i mentioned.

how much i love this album?

cuz i do.

Magnum P.I. couldn't solve this shit!

dear parents.

i know it's part of the job description to harp at me for things.

telling me to do something with my life.

when am i going to college?

when am i even going to look into the courses i want to take?

i dunno.

soon.

all i know.

is that there is just so much out there...

that it makes it hard to know where to begin.

but i will.

soon.

p.s.
i need to find a shirt to go underneath this one!
so i can wear it all the time.

'is too awesome.

Doctor, Doctor.

Tell me the news?!

i gotta bad case of lovin' you.

bitches and hoes yo.

my poor blog.
you've been neglected lately.
dont you worry.
i'll add something of importance soon.

there is one thing...
hehe.
i like herrrrr!


me and my girl.
we got a relationship.
:)

IT'S NOT STILL WEDNESDAY!
geebers.

I'm Cooler Than 'Cooler' You.

uuuh huh!

"We're like, the dumbest nation on the whole planet. I think it has something to do with freedom. We're very free, so we're very free to be stupid."

-Marshall Gregson


It's depressing to see just how stupid the new generation is.
Especially women.
We used to be the housewife, the cleaner, and basically tend to whatever the needs of the family are.
But now.
Because women have won their rights.
And are equals to men.
They start to push the limits...

Whatever happened to being the elegant

smart
and beautiful creatures that we are?

The media has fucked it up for all of us.
You don't see boys opening doors for their ladies anymore.
And you barely ever see ladies that don't have an ugly fake tan, caked on makeup, and the skimpiest clothes they can find!

Is it necessary?

anyone would be a fool

not to fall for you.

Boys.

I'm sick of 'em.

Crazy is hard to love.

I don't know how my father has put up with it for 27 years.
she's been better lately, but who knows how long that will last.
mind you, I'm never home during the week anymore...

but she seems to be keeping busy.
and I haven't been accused of not loving her for months.
maybe this time, she'll stay sane.


maybe this time.
for the first time.
love won't hurry
awaaay!

i knew it reminded me of something, Cabaret!

Welcome to New York, go sucka dick!

Don't talk about the consequence, cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me.

I like where you sleep, when you sleep next to me.

Baby, hold me and I'm in ecstasy!

In case you were wondering,
you are like a hurricane to me.

it starts tonight. :)

yes i steal things from tumblr. SO SUE ME!
hah.

BTW

what a great weekend. :)
i spent time with so many people that i love.
and was exploring all over the place.


i've realized again that the drive to peterborough is one of my favourites.
everything is just so pretty!
and fall is coming around. :D



i like her. (:

i dont know how well you can read this, but it says:
my first orgasm happened spontaneously when i was sitting in a bus. i have never had my vagina so active again.

these emails and tweets may be easier to read.
but really, i just have to say, that people need to fucking grow up.
there has been nudity on postsecret for HOW LONG?
always.
and this is the first complaint?
meanwhile how many boobs have we seen?
or almost penis'?
but there's a picture of a vagina
which technically shows nothing.
and people are freaking the fuck out about it.

your kids WILL see nudity.
in person, or in the movies.
or show them the first season of true blood! then they'll be fucking scarred.

but this?
this does not scar.
it is a secret that somebody obviously needed to share.
and you people have no respect.


at least her legs are closed, i'd say this is better for young people than katy perry or miley cuntface. i mean, i cant spell her name so i decided to call her that.
hah.
again.
keep your legs closed.

AND FOCK HOM!

(They are not artists because no one can play the guitar!)

---------------------------------------------------------------


it takes a real human being to admit.
that everything they know, was given to them from someone else.

no one is original.
(:

hehe thanks Chauntel!

right back atcha. ;)

or maybe i just really enjoy this photo and thought this would be a fun way to say i finally saw it!
now lets see how long it takes for you to seee this.
muahaha.

oh Dexter. <3

Fuck up bitches, steal their money.

I have a few different stories.
Random things that made me laugh.
liiiiike this day:

"Seriously I just sped through a yellow/red light, no seat belt on, and had my phone in my hand. And THEN I noticed the cop coming towards me from the opposite direction. Didn't bother to stop me though."


and this was before the weekend:
a police officer saw me leave a gas station rather quickly, i could see all ways and no one was around, and i didnt see his lights until i turned out of the parking lot.
i think he must have thought that i ran the red like that was, to him, just past the gas station. i wonder this because once i drove past him, he did a U-turn and followed me.
i went around one corner heading towards a stop light that was still green, he turned off his headlights completely before he went around that corner, i dunno in hopes that i wouldnt see him?
the stoplight turned yellow as i was going through it, and the cop didnt even bother slowing, went right though.
i changed lanes to see if he'd go past me, he changed over to my lane as well. he was basically on my ass and then turned his lights back on. i dunno if he wanted to see if i was drunk and would slip up or something. i dunno. it was friday so there's a good chance...

eventually he got bored and did another U-turn.



cops are around a lot when i'm high.
it's funny.

Everything Changes.

even my bedroom.
i'll eventually clean it and take new pictures.
and maybe even figure out the two extra walls, and how i want them to be set up.
hehehe.
i dont want to leave here for a while.

Alex Dunphy - "So dumb guys go for dumb girls, and smart guys go for dumb girls? What do the smart girls get?"

Phil Dunphy - "Cat's Mostly."

hot damn, that girl's a train wreck.

i put. so much effort into that one night.
when we went out and played with fireworks and smoked bongs at the picnic table and in the middle of the road under the stars and the heat lightning (orwhateveritwascalled)!
that was an amazing night, when i SHOULD have kissed you.
well im pretty sure it was the next day, i took you back to aarons place, yep it was.
he gave you a back massage (or however different massages) and you ended up kissing and probably fucking.

so here's a sorry in advance.
no offense bitch.

i hate that i have to talk to you about this.
i want to simply send you a facebook message.
just get it done and over with.


i'm angry at you today.
and you have no idea.
which in turn, fuels my anger.
and sadness.


sucks that aarons going to be gone for a few months and you're losing your best friend.
maybe if you'd answer to my texts trying to figure out plansss
but no.
you'll just wait until morning...
sure, i don't reply right away sometimes.
but if i'm trying to make plans with someone, i fucking make sure i reply to them!
i was going to have you over tonight.
but it /really/ seems like.
you don't care about seeing me.
unless i'm coming over to aarons...


so why should i care about seeing you?
i've already decided that things are better if we just stay friends.
you're not worth the hurt.
but it also hurts, hearing you talk about aaron.
and spending time with his kids.

so this is why i wont send your facebook message tonight.
because yes i'm done with you.
and i said this wouldn't ruin our friendship.
but you may have to stop talking to me about him for a while.

otherwise i can't continue to stay friends.

Hawt daym that girl's on fire!

"you're awesome, Jen."
"Why?"
"Because you take care of me, you're pretty, and you smoke weed."



t'is how i do.

Drop beats, not bombs.

We're not falling in love, we're just falling apart.

So go on, dance the night away!
This is how the beat goes,
just let your body go.
This is how the beat drops.
I wanna see your panties drop, girl, now!

All this time we've wasted, pretending we're in love, but that's alright.
You know i love being with you.

Don't let go.

J-K J-K J-K
L-O L-O L-O L
i heart your fucking makeup,
oh my gawd i love your hair!
is that a new tattoo?
did that piercing fucking hurt?
yo JK JK JK
LO LO LO L

hehe i should head off to work, FEEL BETTER MISSUS!
and i mean headache go away.
geebers.

"We can talk about normal until the cows come home."
"What is normal?"
"What is home?"
"What are cows?

Tonight she's not Alone

singing songs that make you slit your wrists.
it isn't that much fun, staring down the loaded gun.
so i won't stop dying, won't stop lying. (are you there at all?)
if you want, i'll keep on crying. (do you care at all?)
did you get what you deserve? (are you there at all?)
isthiswhatyouwalwayswantmefor?


when will i miss you?
and the collision of your kiss that made it so hard.
made it so hard.




hehehe i love listening to old bands/CDs again.
My Chemical Romance, From First to Last, Fall out boy, System of a Down, The Spill Canvas, and othersss! just makes me happy.

sonofabiiiitch. why can't blogger letlkf'bhga;fdjhga;jgha;jghfkjdhbfgjfjhfbdjafdkjfjhkf
twice now.
i've written a perfect rant about how stupid blogger can be with certain things.
and accidentally deleted it.
things like
letting me type in the full space of this post box, or whatever the fuck it's called. it's stupid that i can continue writing past whatever photo i have on here. when i ask for a large photo, i want the largest photo you can fit on the page! not a photo that i can write around and shit like that. let us choose those setting when we go to upload our photo so my blog posts stop looking so fucking laaame! i have GORGEOUS photos that i want to share with the world but they look kinda pathetic when they're so small and surrounded by wordss.

even posting the picture all by it's self, sometimes isnt enough.
please, somebody read this. and also give us a choice to center the title of our blog post? that'd be wonderful. sometimes it reeeeeeeally bothers me.